Dealing is hard
Well, another day, another post about him. While talking to him. My life is just plain weird. I am so in love with him. I know we would not work. I know that even our friendship is on such a superficial level, except when he needs someone to unload on. My God, it's so difficult. At least Ruby and TOG have real conversations. I don't know what caused the shift or whether it's actually always been this way, but it certainly feels different to me now.
Ok, this blog has been open since God knows what time. Been chatting with Pat all day. Hmm, didn't come up with a disguised name for her but I guess it doesn't matter. She was so nice to talk to; it's amazing how much we seem to agree on him! It's really reassuring to hear another female feel the same frustration as me, although naturally hers is on a somewhat different level. I would think she knows how I feel. But thank God she didn't bring it up. She's one amazing chick - putting up with him all these years. I only hope he appreciates her though I doubt he really does. But then, that's probably just my frustration speaking.
Anyway. Looking forward to the movie with Jeev but then, my mood isn't quite the best. And then that whole rule of not talking about HIM. Bah. It's just not possible la. But I really don't want to annoy Jeev and I know it does. So I will try my best. That doesn't sound committed enough, does it? Bah.
I'm telling myself that this guy has inevitably brought all these amazing people into my life. I should just be happy about that and build forward. He is just one of so many amazing people. So I WILL be happy and move on. Maintain a workable relationship with him, yes but do not let it become the focus of life. Jeev is totally right. He's a really confused person, he really is. Speak of the devil... He needs to sort himself out and he's not really trying, as far as I can see. But we're not going to psychoanalyse him. Not now, anyway.
Ok, I gots to get going. The proper analysing of thoughts shall have to wait for tomorrow. I really meant to sort through some more stuff before seeing Jeev so that I could give him something better than my usual him-talk. Oh well. I shall persevere.
Lol. Pat thinks her blog is long? Haha. I'm just such a rambler la. Blah blah blah. Okay, it ends... here.
Ok, this blog has been open since God knows what time. Been chatting with Pat all day. Hmm, didn't come up with a disguised name for her but I guess it doesn't matter. She was so nice to talk to; it's amazing how much we seem to agree on him! It's really reassuring to hear another female feel the same frustration as me, although naturally hers is on a somewhat different level. I would think she knows how I feel. But thank God she didn't bring it up. She's one amazing chick - putting up with him all these years. I only hope he appreciates her though I doubt he really does. But then, that's probably just my frustration speaking.
Anyway. Looking forward to the movie with Jeev but then, my mood isn't quite the best. And then that whole rule of not talking about HIM. Bah. It's just not possible la. But I really don't want to annoy Jeev and I know it does. So I will try my best. That doesn't sound committed enough, does it? Bah.
I'm telling myself that this guy has inevitably brought all these amazing people into my life. I should just be happy about that and build forward. He is just one of so many amazing people. So I WILL be happy and move on. Maintain a workable relationship with him, yes but do not let it become the focus of life. Jeev is totally right. He's a really confused person, he really is. Speak of the devil... He needs to sort himself out and he's not really trying, as far as I can see. But we're not going to psychoanalyse him. Not now, anyway.
Ok, I gots to get going. The proper analysing of thoughts shall have to wait for tomorrow. I really meant to sort through some more stuff before seeing Jeev so that I could give him something better than my usual him-talk. Oh well. I shall persevere.
Lol. Pat thinks her blog is long? Haha. I'm just such a rambler la. Blah blah blah. Okay, it ends... here.
posted by Mel at 1:10 PM
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