Will Young - how appropriate

Wow. Just listened to Will Young's "Leave Right Now" and I just have to post the lyrics here.

I think I better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me out
Before I fall any deeper

The rest of the lyrics are excellent, too but the chorus is enough to get the drift of my mood, yes? Oh, and the two songs that have followed are "Anyone Who Had a Heart" and "Unchained Melody". Winamp's random song selector is really fucking with my head today.

"I need your love, Godspeed your love to me"

Hah.

Okay, no, I will not let this ruin my day. I cannot. Too much studying to get through. Drama rehearsals require a positive attitude. Hiding my feelings for another day requires more than that. Oh, and Arsenal are through to the semi-frickin-finals of the Champs League so there's gotta be something good about today.

Robbie's "Come Undone" now. I swear, it's the random song selector. God works in mysterious ways, perhaps. No, but I will not let myself come undone. Not now, anyway. I realised that I apply my old technique to these feelings I have for him. Like how before I kept post-poning suicide (yes, I am aware how spastic that sounds) by setting deadlines and then delaying it somehow, I can do that with him. I can keep delaying that conversation, the inevitable one about how I want him so fucking desperately and how he will never feel that way about me and how I cannot stand just being his friend anymore cuz it's just not enough.

Right. I can totally pull this off.

Hmm.

Okay, let's leave that for now. Getting through rehearsals will be hard enough for one day. Should I go to Subang? Not having the computer would suck muchly. But then today doesn't exactly stetch out appealingly either. Of course, the fact that he'll have to send me there has nothing to do with it... Oh Me, so sad and lost and deluded. I guess I will let him... or fate or whatever decide.

So... plans for the day. Not to keep thinking about him, for starters. Brushing my frickin' teeth should also be on the agenda, somewhere. =P Then I will study and figure out my clothing situation. Bah, all these songs are so depressing. Beautiful but depressing, nonetheless.

Currently, it's U2's "All I Want is You" from Reality Bites. Such an awesome movie - please don't let them be playing it right now! K, I better just get off the computer and get on with life.

Final thoughts... Please let him be in a better frame of mind, let me say the right things and let rehearsals and the aftermath go smoothly. *fingers crossed*