Surprisingly blah mood
Hmm... Kind of a weird day, in all. I mean, I'm sitting here now feeling very blah about everything. Nothing really stands out, other than perhaps seeing more of his neuroticisms and realising that Ruby actually cares about my opinions (which sincerely speaking, gave me a great feeling). He was in a weird mood again. Weird's probably not the right word, more like, totally absorbed in his thoughts and worries and all the other stuff that I'm dying to be a part of but that he will never let me into.
Sigh.
Guess it's not so much of a blah mood, after all.
But let's keep telling myself that blah is what it is. Much simpler that way. Oh God, what was that Avril song? Let's go find out - it was so fucking fitting it's insane!! Ooh, I found another one called Things I'll Never Say. Lord, this would be so frickin funny if only it weren't so true. My God. I gotta post the lyrics sometimes, after I actually hear the song =P
Okay, so the song I heard in his car today is called "Fall to Pieces" and yeah, it is really nice and pretty darn fitting for my low moments when for whatever reason, he is the only person that I want to run to. But it's not AS fitting as the one I accidentally discovered. But damnit, these songs are depressing. =(
I really want him. I feel so stupid; it's just so spastic watching him fawn over TOG and wanting him for myself. He is so into her and even though she does nothing to encourage or whatever and she's so NICE and cool, it drives me nuts to have to watch him at it. He's so transparent that I just wanna shake him and go, "Not happening, sweetheart!" but then someone ought to do that to me, as well. Bah.
Ah, fuck this la. The only thing that will result from this train of thought is my sadness. I cannot do anything about this, other than to take the plunge and tell him how I feel. And I am most certainly not ready to do that. Darn, I missed my final chance to watch Chris's Idol perfomance. Damn, that was a really sweet song he sang. But then, also depressing - go figure.
Okay, enough of all this. Tomorrow's another full day. Gotta sort the frickin' costume shit out once and for all. Need to get the money thing sorted as well and also fit in some honest-to-God studying time. Double bah.
I deserve a fucking island holiday with the guy I like, damnit!!
Sigh.
Guess it's not so much of a blah mood, after all.
But let's keep telling myself that blah is what it is. Much simpler that way. Oh God, what was that Avril song? Let's go find out - it was so fucking fitting it's insane!! Ooh, I found another one called Things I'll Never Say. Lord, this would be so frickin funny if only it weren't so true. My God. I gotta post the lyrics sometimes, after I actually hear the song =P
Okay, so the song I heard in his car today is called "Fall to Pieces" and yeah, it is really nice and pretty darn fitting for my low moments when for whatever reason, he is the only person that I want to run to. But it's not AS fitting as the one I accidentally discovered. But damnit, these songs are depressing. =(
I really want him. I feel so stupid; it's just so spastic watching him fawn over TOG and wanting him for myself. He is so into her and even though she does nothing to encourage or whatever and she's so NICE and cool, it drives me nuts to have to watch him at it. He's so transparent that I just wanna shake him and go, "Not happening, sweetheart!" but then someone ought to do that to me, as well. Bah.
Ah, fuck this la. The only thing that will result from this train of thought is my sadness. I cannot do anything about this, other than to take the plunge and tell him how I feel. And I am most certainly not ready to do that. Darn, I missed my final chance to watch Chris's Idol perfomance. Damn, that was a really sweet song he sang. But then, also depressing - go figure.
Okay, enough of all this. Tomorrow's another full day. Gotta sort the frickin' costume shit out once and for all. Need to get the money thing sorted as well and also fit in some honest-to-God studying time. Double bah.
I deserve a fucking island holiday with the guy I like, damnit!!
posted by Mel at 10:28 PM
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