I'm sorry... But it has to be said

The overwhelming question running through my little mind as I valiantly keep trying to study such crucial Edu Psych concepts as motivation and the social constructivists theories is this:

WHY?

Why do I keep giving my heart away? Why do I let myself care about people when I know I always get hurt and I always end up alone.

Alone.

Oh god. I should've known better. Happiness is not meant for me. Not really. It is always fleeting and always, always comes with a price that I just cannot pay.

People always leave.

Always.

I should've known better.

Days, weeks, months of bliss, contentment, reassurance, smiles, laughter, warmth, passion, LOVE. Then... emptiness, misery, loss, loneliness, uncertainty, worry, REALITY.

Is it worth it? Actually, I don't doubt that it really is. The real question is, can I? Nevermind the fairness or irony or anything else. Just simply, can I?

Beyond that, why does this happen to me? Why is everything and everyone that's good and pure in my life always temporary? Why can't I just have love? Just from one person - unconditional, happy-ever-after, I'll-never-ever-leave-you kinda love?

You know what hurts the most? That we really could have been. And you know it, too.